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June 8, 2012

Country Winston Marshall Stands Firm Against Slings and Arrows, Outrageous Fortune

GQ calls Great British banjo star #6 worst dressed man of 2012

Despite Winston’s inordinate fame and wealth, the man and his attire stand completely unchanged, even in the face of the critics’ gibes.

Winston the man and his attire have gone unchanged in the face of tremendous success and even the occasional critic's gibes.

LONDON — As the premier international banjo rockstar, Winston Marshall (a k a Country Winston of Mumford and Sons) now finds himself subject to the capricious public scrutiny typically aimed at tabloid icons and scandalized politicians.

In a truly startling decision, British GQ Magazine has named Winston the sixth worst dressed man of 2012.

“Which is awfully unfair because they’re talking about the whole entire world,” said Emma Beaton, a fashion consultant and Mumford and Sons fan.

“I don’t even think he’s the worst dressed man in England,” said Beaton, who is mostly Scottish.

American rapper Chris Brown took home the full notoriety of GQ’s #1 Worst Dressed Man in The World award, defeating Winston and various other Brits for obvious reasons.

“No doubt,” said Sam Leslie, an American guitarist.
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David Grisman, Bill Keith Pass Actual Torch To Younger Generation

Grisman's glorious grey beard and transcendent aura have earned him favorable comparisons with Gandalf the Grey.

Grisman’s glorious grey beard, transcendent aura, and mandolin wizardry have earned him a place in the California music pantheon. He often appears to be shrouded in smoke.

SAN FRANCISCO — As the next generation of acoustic super-pickers matures and enters the professional sphere, several iconic figures are going to great lengths to welcome and celebrate the youthful infusion.

In recent private ceremonies in California, legendary mandolinist David Grisman reportedly commemorated the changing of the musical guard by issuing forth a real flaming torch that he symbolically passed to various budding stars.

“It just seemed like a good time to pass this torch, man,” said Grisman.

Chris Eldridge, an impressive guitarist, described the recent rite of passage.

“I kinda couldn’t believe my eyes. I had never seen anything quite that big on fire before,” said Eldridge, who is not from the West Coast.
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