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August 14, 2008

Exclusivity at Clifftop Old Time Fiddlers Gathering: All-Girl Orgies Now Invitation-Only

Will jam sessions be next?

WEST VIRGINIA — The annual Clifftop Old Time Fiddlers Gathering, long famous for its highly inclusive culture, has recently taken a striking turn toward selectiveness and elitism.

clifftop more exclusive

Female orgies at the Clifftop Fiddlers Gathering are now more exclusive than ever before. These festivalgoers, photographed on a Tuesday night, wished to remain anonymous.

Starting this year, participation in the camping festival’s numerous lesbian orgies will for the first time ever require an invitation.

The move, generally hailed by the increasingly cliquish attendees, has nevertheless irritated some campers.

“I’ve been seeing people get kicked out of tents at 4:30 in the morning just because they didn’t get invited to the orgy,” said one longtime festival-goer known simply as “Ebu”, adding, “That totally violates the spirit of Clifftop, and that kind of thing would never have happened at the Clifftop of old.”

Although all-girl group sexual encounters have been the primary focus of Clifftop for several years now, the festival maintains at least a nominal commitment to old time fiddle. Indeed, some wonder if the new members-only attitude will eventually permeate the few remaining musical jam sessions that still exist at the festival.

“This is likely the beginning of the end,” said old-time fiddle champion and career songwriter Mark Simos, whose attendance at Clifftop has now spanned multiple eras.

Others were optimistic about the future, however. Said mandolinist Eric Robertson, “I don’t know what’s going on at this place, dude, but there are ridiculously hot chicks hooking up everywhere. I’m absolutely coming back every year until I die.”


3 Responses to “Exclusivity at Clifftop Old Time Fiddlers Gathering: All-Girl Orgies Now Invitation-Only”

  1. ruso on November 10th, 2009 10:00 am

    That is great……………………………….

  2. Sharon Leahy on September 11th, 2008 12:13 pm

    That’s funny, I didn’t see Karl Rove at Clifftop. Apparently his style of spin is creeping in to every aspect of American culture, Are we becoming a nation of liars? Does anyone care about the truth anymore? If this is meant to be a joke, I guess I have lost my sense of humor.

  3. Bill Dillof on September 11th, 2008 9:52 am

    I am appalled! What is wrong with today’s youth? Brandywine produced a satirical newspaper in a matter of a few years. Why has it taken Clifftop twenty? Lazy bums!

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