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June 8, 2012

Country Winston Marshall Stands Firm Against Slings and Arrows, Outrageous Fortune

GQ calls Great British banjo star #6 worst dressed man of 2012

Despite Winston’s inordinate fame and wealth, the man and his attire stand completely unchanged, even in the face of the critics’ gibes.

Winston the man and his attire have gone unchanged in the face of tremendous success and even the occasional critic's gibes.

LONDON — As the premier international banjo rockstar, Winston Marshall (a k a Country Winston of Mumford and Sons) now finds himself subject to the capricious public scrutiny typically aimed at tabloid icons and scandalized politicians.

In a truly startling decision, British GQ Magazine has named Winston the sixth worst dressed man of 2012.

“Which is awfully unfair because they’re talking about the whole entire world,” said Emma Beaton, a fashion consultant and Mumford and Sons fan.

“I don’t even think he’s the worst dressed man in England,” said Beaton, who is mostly Scottish.

American rapper Chris Brown took home the full notoriety of GQ’s #1 Worst Dressed Man in The World award, defeating Winston and various other Brits for obvious reasons.

“No doubt,” said Sam Leslie, an American guitarist.

“Whatever. Winston’s f**king hot,” said one anonymous female supporter, herself a celebrated folksinger.

Winston and Marcus Mumford discuss the fashion issue (3:49) on the red carpet at the 2012 Grammy Awards ceremony in Los Angeles. “He’s better than me at dressing badly, as well as rapping,” said Winston about Chris Brown.

Mumford and Sons’s debut album Sigh No More has gone platinum at least 14 times worldwide, an unprecedented and encouraging feat for a recording on which one can clearly a hear banjo.

Yet despite the tremendous success and the inevitable critics’ gibes, Winston the man and his attire have stood unchanged.

“He pretty much just lives in London with his mates, same as he ever has,” testified one source close to the star.

“All the cut-off jean shorts, yellow mesh caps, questionable footwear and very, very old socks that helped define the Country Winston style during the early years of Mumford and Sons are still there,” explained Beaton.

Along with the humble Great British charm, of course.

Ironically, Winston is quite well dressed compared to many American folkstars below the radar of British GQ Magazine. This is an actual photograph of an American musician.

“The staff at the local pub truly don’t know who he is,” said another informed source.

Ironically, Winston is extremely well dressed compared to many American folk musicians safely below the radar of GQ Magazine.

One noteworthy sighting in the USA documented a banjo player wearing a superoversized tie-dye T-shirt in conjunction with tribalesque African pants, accented with neon Chacos and finished off with some sort of miniature neck scarf, no two items of which even barely matched.

“And I feel like that’s perfectly ordinary at Rockygrass, actually,” said Gina Leslie, an eyewitness with training in design.

“Fair enough, one can’t really compete with the banjo players in the States,” said Winston.

“It’s fine, I’ll just be crossing over to electric punk-pop now,” he added with a smile.

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