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November 13, 2008

Unholy Musical Fusion Conjures Undulating Succubus

“This signifies a major accomplishment, not only for world music fusion but for the dark arts in general,” said one ethnomusicologist .

WOODSTOCK, NY — An intrepid mixture of rhythmical cello playing, jazz vocalization, cryptic folk lyrics, Haitian voodoo drumming and ancient American melody has succeeded in conjuring an actual succubus, live before an audience of entranced folk music fans.

Bethany Yarrow and Rufus Cappadocia, who perform under the group name Bethany and Rufus, used their unique musical blend to summon the mythical woman, who danced provocatively as she gorged herself on the energy and souls of all the men in the room.

“This signifies a major accomplishment, not only for world music fusion but for the dark arts in general,” said musicologist Dr. Craig Harrington, of Yale University.

“The appearance of a real live succubus was astonishing, even to the strongest advocates of cross-cultural musical exchange,” added Dr. Harrington.

The entire performance was captured in high-definition video and has aired on numerous PBS stations nationwide as part of the television special, “Spirit of Woodstock.”

The special also features Ms. Yarrow’s father, Peter Yarrow, of the iconic 1960’s folk group Peter, Paul and Mary.

As evident on the video footage, the crowd immediately succumbed to the dancing temptress, fixating on her without stirring.

“No one budged, or spoke, or smiled, or even tapped a toe. No one at all,” said Sherman Kennedy, a producer of the show. “They were eerily still.”

“I thought about going around checking pulses, but I am experienced with folk crowds, and I know that the appearance of torpor usually signifies deep appreciation,” said Kennedy.

Overall, audience reaction to the succubus was so favorable that the concert has been recapitulated in several other venues with similar results.

Said one anonymous folk-lover who witnessed the conjuring of the succubus at Joe’s Pub in New York, “I gotta say it was the best thing I’ve seen in ages. A true assault on everything that’s normal in the world.”

Some television viewers, however, expressed skepticism.

“Yeah, I saw it. It was netherworldly and obscene, not to mention totally f—ing ridiculous,” said law student Earl Merrill.


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