Special Microphone Simultaneously Amplifies Jeremy Kittel’s Fiddle, Brainwaves

Can you spot Jeremy Kittel's revolutionary new microphone? So small as to be almost unnoticeable, it integrates a real-time cybernetic data feed from music-specific regions of the fiddler's brain.

OAKLAND, CA — Fiddler Jeremy Kittel, long renowned for the intellectual rigor of his compositions and his impressive, idea-driven improvisational style, has now radically enhanced his live performances with a state-of-the-art microphone apparatus that amplifies the musician’s own thoughts as well as the sound of his actual instrument.

“With this new microphone, Kittel is unstoppable,” said guitarist Kyle Sanna of the Jeremy Kittel World Band.

The microphone, whose active element is only slightly bigger than a pea, is unobtrusively mounted to Kittel’s head where it receives dual signals from his fiddle and brain.

This takes the listener closer than ever before to the pure sounds that the Kittel is hearing in his own head.

A small cable transmits the input from hundreds of thousands of intracranial nanoelectrodes that simultaneously measure neural spikes within both the auditory and rostromedial prefrontal cortices.

A microprocessor then converts these signals to an amplified musical output based on complex algorithms developed by Jeremy Kittel’s brother Jonathan in his spare time.

The result is a preternatural perfection of concept and execution that is earning critical praise throughout the country.

“Does this mean Jeremy Kittel is actually a cyborg? Cool,” said Z. Voytek, a high school student from Fort Myers, FL.

However, some of Kittel’s musical competitors have alleged that Kittel’s technology gives him an unfair advantage.

“At first I thought he’d just been practicing a lot. I couldn’t believe how good he sounded. But then I saw the microphone mounted to his head and I knew he was up to something,” said rival Scottish-style fiddle player Hanneke Cassel.