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August 18, 2008

Cadillac Sky to Release Vicious Birds of Prey Instead of Soloing

One of the band's hawks arcs in a predatory swoop at the ROMP Bluegrass Festival in Owensboro, KY.

A Cadillac Sky hawk arcs in a predatory swoop at the ROMP Bluegrass Festival in Owensboro, KY.

TEXAS — Cadillac Sky, whose remarkable bluegrass capabilities and head-banger mentality have earned them a fast-growing following in the country world, has recently announced its next radical innovation in rock-grass.

From now on, instead of playing a solo, each member of the band will unleash a savage raptor from an onstage cage, and the blood-thirsty bird will fly into the audience brutally mauling the faces of as many fans as possible until the solo break is over.

Then, the band’s signature sweet, soulful singing will resume in country harmony.

“We have gone as far as we can go with our adrenalized, face-melting approach to soloing,” said banjo player Matt Menefree, former Winfield Banjo Champ. “There’s only so much damage you can do with pure music, even with triplets, no matter what your chops are.”

Cadillac Sky performs “Blind Man Walking” at the Old Settler’s Festival in Austin.

“Yeah, several people would be going home with their faces pretty much unmangled almost every night,” said band leader Bryan Simpson, “and we were already doing all we could from a musical standpoint.”

Daniel Rice, the band’s live sound engineer, has been professionally reallocated to the band’s new bird care division, and is currently raising two falcons, a buzzard, three true hawks, and an American bald eagle in anticipation of the band’s next appearance on the Grand Ol’ Opry.

Comments

2 Responses to “Cadillac Sky to Release Vicious Birds of Prey Instead of Soloing”

  1. smb on September 12th, 2008 7:22 am

    Edgar Vareese is known to have said “the modern day composer never dies” We are talking about music y’all. Remember how Stravinsky was boo’d. His music offended those whose comfort level was only assured with established styles. But Miles Davis truly understood this when he said… “If you can’t dig it, so what?”

  2. Kelly on August 21st, 2008 11:19 pm

    damn, i guess i probably shouldn’t bring any kind of raw meat to their next show…

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