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December 11, 2009

Dennis Rodman to Join Tornado Rider Band as Sideman

Since leaving basketball Rodman has taken part in pro wrestling bouts, movies, and reality television shows, and he even completed a stint as commissioner of something called the Lingerie Football League

Like band leader Rushad Eggleston, Rodman's exhibitionist flair, fearless antics, and high profile love affairs have piqued public interest for years.

OAKLAND, CA — Rushad Eggleston, the exceptionally flamboyant cellist and front man of the one-of-a-kind cello rock band Tornado Rider, intends to expand his group with the addition of celebrity bad boy and former basketball star Dennis Rodman.

Rodman will join Graham Terry, electric bass and Scott Manke, drums.

“We were looking for someone who could bring a lot of hustle, energy and stage presence to the Tornado Rider team,” said the band’s manager.

“Rodman brings all those things plus an unparalleled experience with public antics, cross-dressing, tattoos, and sexually transmitted infections,” he added.

Rock critics have hailed Tornado Rider as “the most astonishing expression of pure id ever achieved with a cello.”

Eggleston, who sings and wears his instrument on a guitar strap, performs with an acrobatic flair, leaping off walls, diving into crowds, even spinning around on his back without missing a note.

Eggleston revolutionized folk and improvisational cello music when he hit the acoustic scene in 2001 with his highly original musical style, and he soon achieved renown performing with Crooked Still, the Fiddlers 4 and countless others.

He also achieved some infamy resulting from his ebullient personality, shocking and revealing costumes, fearless jumps from high stages, and willingness to say inappropriate words such as “vagina.”

In 2008, he left acoustic music to focus his own efforts on heavily amplified cello rock backed by drums and electric bass.

Rushad Eggleston performs an especially impressive cello solo while hanging upside down from the top of a large tent at Florida’s MagFest.

Dennis Rodman’s notorious exhibitionism has often overshadowed his professional achievements, which include five NBA championship titles, numerous rebounding records, two Defensive Player of the Year awards, and likely induction into the Hall of Fame.

His equally legendary career of misbehavior has included high profile affairs with Madonna and Carmen Electra, countless run-ins with the law, naked photo shoots and periodic tell-all autobiographies.

Once he even attempted to marry himself dressed in a white wedding gown, likely as a publicity stunt.

Since leaving basketball Rodman has taken part in pro wrestling bouts, movies, and reality television shows, and he even completed a stint as commissioner of something called the Lingerie Football League.

Many people unfamiliar with the Tornado Rider Band have expressed concern that Rodman, ostensibly a backup performer, may distract audiences from Eggleston, the focal point of the group.

“I really don’t think that will be a problem,” said Eggleston’s manager. “My boy can play the most ripping cello solo in the world while hanging upside down half naked from the rafters and screaming about bisons or some crazy s—t,” he continued.

“Yeah it’s true, I was there,” said J. McConnell, guitarist.

Comments

3 Responses to “Dennis Rodman to Join Tornado Rider Band as Sideman”

  1. Keno Mapp on January 15th, 2010 9:19 pm

    Wicked! Thanks for NYE with Vau de Vire. You took us into the New Year SMOKIN HOT!!!!!!! See you barn yard animals soon.

  2. Kevin McConnell on December 21st, 2009 3:55 pm

    There is no way in hell that Rodman, or anyone else living or dead will EVER overshadow Rushad.

  3. Patrick Gunning on December 12th, 2009 6:27 pm

    I was at this show at Whisky, and his rafter-hanging solo was motherf*cking epic. Even crazier, he did it about 6 feet from his mom, after giving her a lengthy cello-solo/hug.

    Rodman’s going to have to bring his A game to compete with the Goat God.

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