News of Guantanamo Music Torture Inspires Mountain Heart to Play Harder, Faster Than Ever Before

MARIETTA, GA — The United States’ practice of torturing detainees and prisoners of war with prolonged exposure to unbearably loud music at Guantanamo Bay and other ‘black sites’ has provoked strong reactions of outrage and concern within the music industry.

But within the world of bluegrass several professionals are expressing support for the use of music in the War on Terror, arguing that very loud music is both legal and highly effective as a tool of interrogation.

Sources close to the band Mountain Heart indicate that the renowned group is urgently striving to play faster, harder, and louder than ever before in hopes that its music help win the war on terror.

“The revelation of music torture or, ‘torture lite’, was a real call-to-arms for these guys,” said a friend of the band.

Music experts agree that Mountain Heart is the only bluegrass band with the skills, intensity, and patriotic fervor to make music significantly more effective than what the US government already uses on prisoners.

“They could make Deicide’s ‘F**k Your God’ seem like a pretty little lullaby,” said bluegrass documentarian M. Miado.

“Back in simpler times, State would send American musicians to perform overseas to promote peace, cultural harmony, and a positive perception of the US, ” said an anonymous State Department official.

The music of Mountain Heart has always been characterized by an unyielding display of power, American passion, and complete dominance over the listener and other bluegrass ensembles.

“The tragic events of 9/11 exposed that strategy as so much hippie bullshit, so we’ve adopted a new, wartime application for music in the field,” he added.

One Guantanamo interrogator estimated that excruciatingly loud, repetitive music interspersed with blinding flashes of strobe light could ‘break’ a detainee in just four days.

“Four days is too long when lives hang in the balance,” said one Mountain Heart member. “If we need actionable intelligence we need it NOW.”

The music of Mountain Heart, which to this point has been geared toward audience enjoyment, has nonetheless been characterized by an unyielding display of power, American passion, and complete dominance over the listener and other bluegrass ensembles.

Indeed, medical experts caution that enjoying the music of Mountain Heart for more than two consecutive hours causes a sensory over-stimulation that may result in permanent desensitization to normal human experiences.

“It’s the closest thing the bluegrass fan has to smoking crack,” said J. Harper, an enthusiast.

Meanwhile, numerous pop stars including members of Rage Against the Machine, Pearl Jam, and REM have recently invoked the Freedom of Information Act to force the CIA and FBI to release the names of songs used in their prisoner interrogations.

Among other things, these stars allege that the CIA is using music to “humiliate, terrify, punish, disorient and deprive detainees of sleep, in violation of international law.”

“Dude, Mountain Heart is gonna be all over this,” added Harper.