The Duhks Announce New Green Endorsement Deals: Mascoma Biofuel, GHS Recycled Strings, Trojan Eco-Condoms

The Duhks are the first major folk band to receive an official prophylactic endorsement. Trojan Eco-Condoms consist of a 100% biodegradable starch derivative bioplastic, fabricated from organically farmed raw materials.

WINNIPEG — The Duhks, from Winnipeg, MB, have already staked out a place at the leading edge of folk with their bold musical fusion, rockstar charisma and outspoken environmental consciousness.

Now, the band is preparing to announce a combination of progressive product endorsements that will catapult it to the forefront of the international green music movement.

The move will put the Duhks’ full promotional weight behind several innovative goods that combine utility with state-of-the-art ecofriendly composition.

“We are just trying to do our part to promote environmental health and sexual wellbeing on Earth,” said banjoist and band leader Leonard Podolak.

“Yeah, this is our responsibility as folk musicians and international sex symbols, and we take it seriously,” said guitarist and luthier Jordan McConnell, who is also now finishing his renowned handmade guitars with environmentally-friendly wood finisher.

With this year’s addition of Sarah Dugas on vocals and her brother Christian Dugas on drums, the band’s musical appeal and sexual irresistibility has crested, capturing the attention of marketing reps from several top corporations.

“But when a band endorses a product, the personal and musical credibility of the whole group is on the line, too” said fiddler and backup vocalist Tania Elizabeth. “We did a lot of research before partnering with these businesses.”

Mascoma, a cutting edge New England biotech company, has recently contracted Ms. Dugas and Ms. Elizabeth as spokesmodels in order to promote its new ethanol-based automotive biofuel.

Said Ms. Elizabeth, who once very briefly dated a scientist, “Mascoma has pioneered an in vitro selection strategy reliant upon naturally occurring cellulasic microorganisms’ endogenous capacity to adapt, and using that technique they have safely engineered a microbe that can digest cellulose waste such as that found in corn husks and paper, eventually secreting a useful energy-rich byproduct in the form of ethanol.”

Added Ms. Dugas, “That will power your car, and it’s totally carbon-neutral.”

McConnell and Podolak, who lack the science background of the rest of the band, have nevertheless found sponsorship from the GHS string company, whose new HybridTone recycled guitar and banjo strings aim to minimize the tremendous burden placed on the environment by discarded and broken strings.

“The amount of damage that James King and the Avett Brothers do to the environment is staggering,” said Podolak. “I read somewhere that they have broken over 65,000 strings this festival season alone.”

GHS now offers a local string recycling program, and its new HybridTone product line consists of at least 75% post-consumer metal.

Finally, the band is the first musical group ever to receive an official condom endorsement deal. This one is from prophylactic mega-giant Trojan, whose new starch-based bioplastic Eco-Condoms are made from 100% organic raw materials harvested by means of sustainable farming.

“Stay healthy out there, people,” said Christian Dugas.